So I've finished Radical and will need to read it again. There's too much there to wrap your mind around.
First thing I see happening is I'm so horribly upset with the American Church and how we spend the majority of our time asking God to this or that for US. How dare we!
Matter of fact, I've started to see just how much we focus on US and what He's doing for our lives, our families...etc. He's not SANTA CLAUS!
It seems to me we spend an unbalanced amount of time going to Jesus like He's our soothsayer, our guru for our lives...how do I proceed here? What about this?
I can't stand it.
I can't even pray anything for myself anymore. When we're at a crossroads on things, I simply ask that He just do what He will and we'll just deal with what He graciously decides for our lives.
It's a new way of praying for me. I just simply tell Him, it's fine with me whether we do this or go there or not. I just want to be a vessel. Your love is sufficient for me and mine.
I do still pray for my children and my family. I do still pray for the world and those around us that are suffering. I pray for the now 3 children I am sponsoring through Compassion International. I pray for Rick and his leadership of our family. I pray to continue to be sensitive to the over abundance that I live in on a day to day basis and I pray I can instill in my children a wide-eyed awareness of this and instruct them how we have to give, we are called to give and give we will.
Recently, I had a convo with E on some sort of gadget he wanted that so and so had...and we didn't.
I took that moment and told him, you know, the world has a lot to offer and compared to most of the people living here, we have a lot of it already...we don't NEED that thing. That thing will cost money we could spend helping someone else that doesn't have it so good. He looked perplexed but he seemed to comprehend. This is just the start of it...
So life is still altered by this information. This new awakening of the truth of the Christian life. I try so hard not to be offended when I see other believers living a misguided life striving after the wrong things...I know it's a long road ahead of me and much more detox will need to be had. The balance is hard to find between just living in a box and living with just enough and giving the rest away in some sort of fashion.
I am still begging God to show me every day where to start, what to do and how to be. I do desire that He keep me aware and my eyes open...I never want to be in the dark again.
I'm striving to really see what have I done for Him lately? If you love someone, you show them...do I show Him that regularly? I can say emphatically...right now, no I haven't.
