Egg Dyeing

Ava before her complete attention was given to her uncanny efficiency at the process...

Little Momma and Little Will

Using all his senses...

Ethan's Star Wars Egg Fighter Something...ah, whatever

Easter at BB's

What feeds you?

I know it sounds way too introspective, but what feeds you?

Yesterday as I headed south to Libby's. I flipped my car into manual transmission mode. I love it that this car has both. I got to really thinking about how I like to push a car to its limits particularly in a standard. And it suddenly came to mind, what are things that feed your true self? The activities that bring you to life and make you feel truly alive? What gives you that burning sensation in your chest that you're touching upon something that brings the blood rushing?

Everyone has them. The boys were particularly quiet playing with Star Wars toys in the back seat so I let my mind wander as I ate up the miles to Chickasha. Going 81 always has its perks. Being that it's a two lane highway through farm land always sends me introspective on myself. And also the fact that you can sort of "experiment" with your vehicle without too much concern for the po po. ;)

So I thought of how others feed themselves, their inner selves...Rick loves to create and recreate with his hands. My Dad loves to EXPLORE anything and everything, walk, hike...I have friends who love photography. Libby loves to PAINT....My Mom likes to do graphic design. It all feeds who they are in their core.

Here's my list:

1. Driving a stick and making the machine work at my bidding

2. Riding a horse and being in sync with this large animal, talking without words

3. Walking alone in a pasture and stopping to hear and see but only in Graham for some reason

4. Reading something challenging and inspiring, thinking on it, applying it

5. Studying God's word and seeing it's seamless story

6. Taking time to stop and really study something and learn in a museum, whether art or exhibit

7. Taking just the right photograph and getting lost in the view from the lense

8. Travel and silence, taking in a place that is not familiar in the least, hearing the noises, the people, the smells

9. Garden work, uninterrupted, digging and planting, pulling and taming

I was telling Rick yesterday...about this concept and something I gleaned from thinking on it. I was a bit surprised to notice that I tend to feel most myself with independent activities like those I've listed above, many of which involve getting lost in my own moment.

The experience isn't corporate although I like company. But part of me is very in tune with time that is just me. Maybe this is why there are times I get so crazy being at home with the kids that I want to just run. Maybe this is why there have been many times that I've just pulled away from others...from a sense of feeling smothered or too in demand. I tend to return...but it's cyclical. I tend to sort of wax and wane. It's good to have time to one's self now and then. Truly it makes me a better giver to give this to myself when I can. It also calls me to a deeper understanding although not perfect and many times tainted of who I am and how this whole world comes together. Many times I feel God in a way not easily defined. It's like the whole things from Chariots of Fire...when the Eric says he runs to feel God's pleasure. That really really speaks to me.

Could it be that God is all of our personalities rolled into one...that He pours into us His own characteristics and likes and dislikes and that each of us is a piece of Himself in this way...the desire to feel speed and control, the need to talk without words, the seeker of beauty, the explorer or what have you? I certainly am convinced.

I just learned that a friend from High School who I had recently become "friends" with on Facebook was found dead in his apartment Monday by his parents. It's shocking and rather upsetting. And I can't help but blog about it.

Keith along with Tom who was killed in a car wreck a few years back were in all my classes, in band and in my life throughout high school. Keith and Tom liked to tease me in band.

Keith once wrote I love Mary Megan King inside a band locker and freaked me out. He loved to argue and laugh with me on a regular basis. He and Tom got a kick out of teasing me and getting me all stirred up. I can remember many such encounters in the band cubby hole closet. I can still see them both towering over me being annoying.

Honestly, it does bring me to tears even though I hadn't actually spoken to either of them in years. I had just posted something on Keith's page recently and was waiting to hear back from him. I signed it Molly. He used to call me Molly after Molly Ringwald even before I started wearing my hair short.

He was an odd cat and devilishly funny, witty and quick in speech. He liked things in a way that was different than the average human and was underestimated many times when I knew him. He was Keith. I am saddened he's no longer here.

Santa Maria Novella

On this day last year, here is what I was taking in. Oh, I can't tell you how my heart aches for that. To relive every moment over...okay, not every one...there were a few moments I'd rather forget like the one involving changing and the window but we won't go there!

Mostly, just the other worldness of it all was the best part. The newness of every little thing, the food, the people, the every last detail that was unfamiliar.

This is Santa Maria Novella. I realize the pics aren't the best but I was taking shots with no flash out of respect. This is a working church in that it is open to the public and people are members here. How special to sit and worship where people have been worshiping for hundreds of years. Think of the traffic of people that have gone in and out of those doors.

This church did not have the same racy past as the Duomo with it's assassination attempts and the like, it was quiet and sweet and I couldn't get over the black and white which apparently was a cutting edge design at the time. The man who designed the interior was young and wanted to create a special effect by doing it this way; he wanted to create distance in your eye by putting the contrasting colors. I could whip out the book and explain it but I'm not in the mood.

It was just breathtaking, breathtaking is all I can say.

The Universality of it All

The heavens declare the glory of God;
And the firmament shows His handiwork.
Day unto day utters speech, And night unto night reveals knowledge.
There is no speech nor language
Where their voice is not heard.
Their line has gone out through all the earth,
And their words to the end of the world
(Psalm 19:1-4).

I've questioned God plenty in my life. In fact, I know that He loves me extra special because of it. My faith initially was something I took based upon what was given to me from birth. But as I aged particularly in my late 20s and early 30s I really questioned hard.

But one thing speaks for itself and it's the universal language of man: Creation. How can one not look around and see the intricacy of everything around us from the veins on a leaf to the habits of the pets we hug on?

It still blows me away when I take my faith down the very lowest level: the seen!

Today we go to pick up Little E's enrollment stuff or what have you. I really have no clue what we're doing other than what Kelly told me to do which is go up there and pick afternoon or morning kindergarten. After much ado about nothing, I really have settled on afternoon. It works best for the flow of our lives. Ethan has grown up on me in the blink of an eye.

Yes, Folks, I know he's only going to Kindergarten but this will forever change life, we are no longer just floating around like a bumble bee stopping at any flower or garden that looks interesting. We have a purpose, a direction, an obligation to be somewhere during the school year and if we don't stick to their schedule...uh, we get in trouble *wince*!

My little boy is going to be school age now. Oh, how I love him so and look forward to all he's going to learn! I'm so proud of him and his over analytical, over verbal and over intense ways...he is gentle and sweet and loving and caring but can be bold and brash too. He is my baby.

Yea Ethan!

A simple statement

I stole this from my bud Amber's blog...it's good.

We are not here to fix, change or belittle another person. We are here to support, forgive, and heal one another.

-Marianne Williamson

God has done a work in me in this department; these words easily could have been the theme for my life over the last several years! I think it'll take a lifetime for me to see that this truth and to go forth and do it consistently, but nonetheless, encouragement indeed!

Now what can they say to yours?

Don't knock it until you try it....

When I was little girl...well, I didn't think I was so little but I was...I used to love to watch Pollyanna. I watched it regularly on Sundays after church. I had all the lines memorized, I can still quote a few.

My point is though that she played the "Glad Game". Basically, in order to keep her focus on the positive, she would point out to herself or anyone within earshot things she was glad about rather than sad. It's a a good movie for anyone that enjoys just a pure little story. I recommend it...

But anyhow...what I gleaned here recently as this random memory came to mind was that really to have proper perspective being thankful for what God has given is not only a way to worship Him but it's also a great way to see His hand in your life.

There are times that I want to run because of the bulk of blessings that I take pleasure in simply because it seems odd that I have them and much of the world does not. There are times that I find myself caught in the trap of feeling dissatisfaction over what I have. I know it's normal and natural...but the glad game just helps you dispel all of that. It keeps the focus proper. It reminds you that God provided and therefore your blessings are His gift to you, not a gift to yourself.

Anyway...I'm going to play the Glad Game now and then on the blog.

Here's my list from yesterday, things I'm glad for:


1. Ethan's enthusiasm as he explains Star Wars. It's tiring at times to hear it over and over as he reiterates the details of each character and their roles but at the same time as I listen, I'm glad to know he's this capable of expressing himself and this intelligent to have all this stuff memorized.

2. The man I was stuck behind in stop and go traffic which since I was childless, I enjoyed the rush hour hum drum. He was driving a cream colored Mini Cooper...had two, not just one, phone ear pieces...is that normal? And yet, as we slowed down over and over, he rolled down his window to tell the man next to him that his left rear tire was low. He cared. He didn't have to and from all appearances could have very well been too busy to care, but he wasn't. He did and made that known. I was encouraged by that.

3. For Caleb's comforting ways. Caleb told me last night after I gave him a pep talk over the noises he hears while sleeping in his new big boy bed...I explained how big God was and how God protects him every day. Later in the conversation, he reassured me just out of the blue that "It's all right Mommy, you not be scared. God keep you safe." How precious the words and the message!

4. I'm glad for friends that I can be myself around. Last night we had "date night" with two other couples from our small group from church. There were no pretenses present. We could do, act and be ourselves, even the crude and tacky parts of ourselves. We're family. I'm glad I have them!

5. For trash men aka garbage collectors. I'm glad we live in a country where someone comes and takes away your rubbish. I try so hard to do what I can to keep that down to a minimum but regardless, when they come and take the unwanted garbage away, it's a blessing, it truly is.

6. For my Rick. He takes care of me even in ways I never fathomed I needed caring for in. He stays level headed and steady. He's forgiving to a fault and he's definitely in touch with the need to bend and give in our relationship. He's also one of the most obedient people I know when it comes to God's hand sculpting something new in his life.