A Few Observations

It's amazing to me that my head is so full of words sometimes that I feel like I'm going to pop. Seriously, I spend a lot of time writing in my mind...most of which never makes it to paper or the blog.

Lately, there are scenes in my mind and thoughts that are random at best and now is the time to spill.

I'm curious about this man that lives off of 152 in Mustang. He has a bit of a man cave in his garage. It's just about every night you'll find him in there. Garage door open. TV on. Piddling. I think to myself. What does his wife think? Where are his children? Some nights though, his kids are riding their bikes and he's still in there, watching TV and piddling. It's funny to me how many men need man caves. Men must have this wiring in their brains that causes them to have to have some space from time to time. I don't get it. Personally, I prefer company...unless it's early in the morning, then watch out!

I love Burt's Bees' Pomegranate lip balm. No, seriously. I have a love relationship with this stuff. I smear it on my lips at least 3 times a day if not more. It sleeps in my ash tray in the VW and is the best stuff ever. Well, Chicken Poop lip balm has a close 2nd but the fragrance of the Burt's Bees well, is the bees knees!

I'm feeling rather excited about how God is moving in our Women's Ministry. The like-mindedness that is coming out in our leadership group is blowing my mind. When it first started, I had to sort of hold my breath. I was hearing all the words and dreams that I had held for the last 2 years...but I was feeling that odd sensation you get when you run your finger over a scar. I didn't want to hear the words or the dreams because I remember the pain I felt when things didn't come to fruition over the last 2 years. Yet, now I see what God needed from me then. I needed to see a lot of things that He was only able to convey and teach in the desert. I'm pumped though! Now, it's just having the courage to step forward and ask permission to proceed...but I'm sure God's got that handled.

Well, it's official. Both of my parents are married and happily so. I'm happy for both of them...yet, I still lament what was lost when the divorce came to be. Every night I glance at picture of them on their wedding day that I have propped up on a picture frame on my bedside table. I look at their young faces so full of hope and dreams. I think on what they must have been dreaming and know that they never wished this upon themselves. Time can be cruel.

Recently, we started a study called iMarriage by Andy Stanley. It could not have come at a better time...it's really stretching Rick and I. It talks about how we all come into our marriages with a box full of desires that then become expectations...desires as to who does what and so on in the marriage. Unfortunately, having expectations leads to a sense of entitlement. When your spouse fulfills your expectations, they've merely come up to par or broken even. There's no sense of gratitude at that point...because they're just doing what they're supposed to do in your eyes. I've done this. Rick goes to work each day and takes care of the cars, etc. So what? That's what my Dad did and that's what you do....not so. This study calls us to get rid of the expectations and see that actually your spouse doesn't OWE you a thing...what they do is a gift. Life changing stuff here...and that's just the tip of the iceberg, week 1 of the study.

Yesterday I was listening to Willie Nelson...one of his older songs, probably from the 50s? It sounded like something from the 50s, is he that old? I mean he's looked old forever but is he? Anyway, I was in Rick's car which explains Willie and my mind drifted off to how life could have been different. What if I had been born a man? I know it sounds crazy but just roll with it. I pictured myself a man and as I caught sight of a man in a big old truck with his hand dangling out the side...I suddenly was transported to a dusty back road in Graham or Young County, just outside city limits. I pictured that if I were a man, I would like to have been a rancher driving a big truck that was always dusty from driving on gravel and dirt roads. I would wear dusty boots and have a really nasty cowboy hat. I'd listen to old country songs and constantly drive in my big truck with my hand dangling. My hands would be rough and I'd wear crusty old jeans. I'd be all about taking life slowly and enjoying the moments as they pass. And I'd have a horse to wrangle my cattle with. Life would be good. Just a thought that passed through my mind on its way to nowhere.

VWs have a very distinctive smell when you turn on the heater. It's the same no matter the age of the car or the model. Last night, the boys wanted the windows down and I was cold. It's really turning out we're going to have a Fall season this year. So I switched on the heat and that sweet smell hit me like a ton of bricks. It was awesome! It reminds me of OBU and chilly nights in the car making a late night Bell run or just sitting and talking in the car. Good music and friends.

Remember when good music was your best friend in the car? I really miss those days. Now, I have to play 20 questions when I get in the car. Not the official version, the Ethan version. I know I'm just paying for my raisin' but sometimes I have to tell him specifically, I cannot do the 20 question thing today Ethan...no questions. But he always ignores it after a few moments of silence. Oh well.